Reviews (6)

Mastering the Emotional Realm
Great spiritual teachers, like Buddha and Jesus, have touched their disciples' hearts by speaking in the language of emotion, teaching in parables, fables, and stories. Indeed, religious symbol and ritual makes little sense from the rational point of view; it is couched in the vernacular of the heart. ~Daniel Goleman
Feeling smart, feeling good...
Ever since I read Martin Gardiner's book on multiple intelligences, I have been intrigued by the study of how we learn and the different types of intelligence. No one disputes that mathematical/analytical brain-power is a very different type of intelligence from the kind of bodily intelligence that makes someone a graceful gymnast or a super athlete; while there is often some cross-over between the kinds of intelligence that make for good mathematicians and good musicians, the kinds of intelligence that are brought to bear on different parts of our lives get developed in different ways.
This is a book which has profoundly changed my life
I placed my original order for Dan Goleman's book "Emotional Intelligence" about one month before it's release in 1995 after reading the Time magazine cover story "What is Your E.Q.?"At the time I was going through a very difficult divorce, and I was asking myself the question "What did I do to deserve this terrible mess?"I was a 37 year old medical internist then who, in 7th grade, modeled my emotional style after Mr. Spock (from Star Trek) to avoid emotional issues I faced then.I accepted the messages from my parents and teachers who taught me that if I earned good grades, went to college, received an undergraduate and hopefully a graduate degree, then I shall expect to become happy & successful in life.Well, I DID that. I got the T-shirt.I graduated from high school as class valedictorian, winning the science award, I was awarded by my classmates "most likely to succeed", and I won a very handsome scholarship which paid all my undergraduate tuition for 4 years and offered me a summer job.In college I won more scholarships and graduated phi beta kappa in the top 3% of my class.In medical school & residency I did well, but this was more difficult for me as I had to learn to deal with many emotionally and socially challenging issues I was poorly prepared to deal with, but I got through them, but initially was not very adept at dealing with them.
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Subjects:  1. Emotional intelligence    2. Emotions    3. Intelligence    4. Personal Growth - General    5. Psychology    6. Self-Help    7. Self-Help / Success   

Reviews (6)

Excellent
A great resource book for everyone. Everyone can benefit something from using this book.

Help for Borderlines who really want help
This is an amazing workbook.The first time I looked through it, I thought is was over-simplified and would not be of much use to me.But I was wrong.It teaches readers how to understand where their emotions come from, how to identify emotions that seem to come out of nowhere, and how to control how we react to those overwhelming emotions.It's indispensible for anyone who has Borderline Personality Disorder and truly wants to get better.It's also great for anyone who has difficult controling extreme emotional feelings.The workbook format makes this very easy to read.The exercises are very helpful and informative.Heck, some of them are even fun!

Great for clients
I've found this to be a very user-friendly, readable workbook.Interesting,informative and normalizing w/o unnecessary jargon or psychobabble.I'm going through it with a client who's learning what it means to be "borderline".The DBT principles are beautifully woven in.It is a great introduction to her of what a DBT group could offer her and a very helpful adjunct to our individual therapy, especially now while a DBT group is not an option for her. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Alternative Therapies    2. Behavior therapy    3. Dialectical behavior therapy    4. Emotions    5. Mood Disorders    6. Psychology    7. Self-Help    8. Self-realization    9. Popular psychology    10. Psychotherapy   

Reviews (37)

A Great Book for Christians Dealing with Anger
This book is especially helpful to those who are trying to follow (or find) Christ and work through their anger. As for the reviewers who say there is no warning about it being Christian, Amazon says this: "From doctors nationally known in the field of Christian counseling" right in their editorial review.This book helped me through some very harsh anger problems and is a great tool to have.Highly Recommended!
Good programmed study guide for a small group
I purchased this book a case at a time to be used in an anger recovery program I started at my church.We were doing some lay/counseling when I realized that this area had a desperate need that wasn't being fulfilled.What I did was used the chapters like a 12 stage program, using two chapters a night, and going through the material in small groups.It worked really well.I repeated the process as a 13 week program, and as a four week program.I did find even though the material is quick and easy reading some of the participants in the program didn't read the material ahead of time like they were instructed.I found I had to summarize the chapters in two to three page handouts, and take some of the self analysis tests and have them work those during the weekly group counseling.That worked well.I find if the material is read, then talked about together in a small group, say an existing bible study, it really helps.Just using the book on your own may not be as helpful, but it is better then not doing anything.The chapters help you to get to the root of the cause of your particular anger issues.The self tests are a insightful tool.Not all chapters fit everybody.There are various reasons for anger/depression."Anger turned inward makes depression."

The Anger Workbook--- personal review
I purchased this book quite a few years ago.That was the beginning of learning to control my anger.Note I use the word control, not eliminate my anger.I finally learned why I get angry and react the way I do. I learned anger is not a bad thing--it's just the way you express it that can cause you such hardship.I really appreciate the Christian perspective this book offers.It has blessed me to use the information in this book. It has been about 6 years since I read the book and I can honestly tell you the information, counseling, and techniques really have worked.I highly recommend this book for anyone struggling with anger.There is hope to learn about it, understand why you do it, thus having control of it rather than it having control of you. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Anger    2. Christian life    3. Christianity    4. Christianity - Christian Life - Interpersonal Relationships    5. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    6. Problems, exercises, etc    7. Religious aspects    8. Self-Help    9. Personal Christian testimony & popular inspirational works    10. Religion / Christian Life    11. Self-Help & Practical Interests   

Reviews (1)

A healing journey
The first thing I had to do when I received my copy of The Five Languages of Apology was to take The Apology Language Profile in the back of the book.I approached it in the happy, fun way I used to look at surveys in women's magazines until the very first question stopped me dead in my tracks.Since it was about how a spouse should apologize for failing to acknowledge a wedding anniversary, it hit home right away.I knew this was going to be a serious book and that it would bring up some very raw emotions.My husband had recently intended to acknowledge our anniversary with a beautiful gift, but it was stolen from his car before he had the chance, and nothing more was said or done about it.Even though I knew my husband was not to blame, I needed someone to take responsibility and there was no one to do that thus creating an unresolved issue we would eventually work through.As I read more of the questions, I experienced emotions ranging from sadness to anger and by the end of it I realized that very few people had ever apologized to me at all let alone took the time to figure out my apology language!It made perfect sense to me that my preferred apology language is accepting responsibility, since people who come from dsyfunctional homes often long for someone to own up to what he or she has done or said, and because this rarely happens, communication becomes distorted.In the midst of my own issues this book was addressing, I was comforted by the words Chapman and Thomas used to lead me from feeling very alone and rejected because of the lack of apologies given to me, to experiencing some healing and closure due to the new understanding I have been given.I have also become much more aware of the apologies I see in movies and in my relationships with friends.I do believe that if we could get to the point of being willing to apologize, even if we have to stumble through it at first, we would broaden our ability to truly love one another. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Apologizing    2. Conflict Resolution    3. Emotions    4. Family & Relationships    5. Family/Marriage    6. Interpersonal Relations    7. Psychology    8. Religion / Christian Life   

Editorial Review

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Reviews (18)

Thanks for this great book
Dr. Gottman, thanks for writing this book: it is a great gift to parents involved and interested in their kids development.
This is the best parenting book I've ever read!
This is a book that makes you understand and remember many feelings of childhood and it gives you really good tools to communicate effectively with your child. The author is the best in his field.

Helpful tips
I found this book useful with some practical ideas. Discipline tips are particularly useful and realistic. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Child Care/Parenting    2. Emotions    3. Family & Relationships    4. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    5. Parenting - Child Rearing    6. Parenting - General    7. Psychotherapy - Child & Adolescent    8. Family & Relationships / Parenting   

Reviews (2)

Buy this book for your pre-teen!
My 9 and 12 year old sons love this book!We have been able to talk about those angery moments in a fun and useful way.The funny pictures just add to the easy-going approch to a serious topic.

A wonderfully written and presented self-help book
Collaboratively written by Elizabeth Verdick and Marjorie Lisovskis, How To Take The GRRRR Out Of Anger is a wonderfully written and presented self-help book especially recommended for young people with anger management problems -- and their parents who are trying to teach their kids how to control their tempers. From five steps to getting anger under control, to problem-solving techniques, ways to deal with grownups who get angry, recognizing body language warning signs, and much more, How To Take The GRRRR Out Of Anger is practical and useful for all children of all ages. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Anger    2. Anger in children    3. Children's Books/Ages 9-12 Nonfiction    4. Children: Grades 3-4    5. Juvenile Nonfiction    6. Juvenile literature    7. Social Issues - Emotions & Feelings    8. Advice on parenting    9. Emotions & feelings   

Reviews (4)

I love it so far!
Im not a big reader, but when I realized my marriage needed help I was willing to read every book I could get my hands on if it would help. Im just in the third chapter of this one but I can already see a difference inmy communication with others and I cant wait to keep reading! What I really like about this book is the way it's written. It seems as though Mr Gottman writes as if he were speaking in converstation and adds a bit of humor as well. I am really enjoying this book! 4 stars just because im not done with it yet, but I think it will be a 5!

The Relationship Cure : A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
Practical is the main wqord.

Simple and Insightful
This book is so simple yet, so true.I like the fact that the content came out of real observations of people.The steps are clearly grounded in reality... not just theory about the way people behave.
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Subjects:  1. Emotions    2. Family & Relationships    3. Family Relationships    4. Family/Marriage    5. Interpersonal Relations    6. Marriage    7. Psychology    8. Coping with personal problems    9. Family & Relationships / Emotions    10. Marriage, family & other relationships   

Reviews (31)

The Best I've Seen
This book has helped me and many people I know! It is excellent if you are truly serious about letting go of unforgiveness, rewriting the 'victim' stories of your life into 'victor' stories, and moving ahead. Completely outstanding--make sure you buy it. I have read and reviewed many books on this subject, and this one is by far the most useful and practical.
Outstanding
This book is far more than just about forgiveness.Having tried to deal with forgiving for years this book has given me more insight into my behavior than help from a great therapist! I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to live better and be a peace with themselves.I have underlined my copy and plan to return to it periodically.

LIfe isn't fair and how to live with that.
This book is practical. It doesn't ask you to magically turn your feelings off or to become a saint. There are things that often happen in life whether by people who are close to us or random strangers than can hurt us very deeply. When we are not able to come to terms with these events and they start to grow within our minds and take up too much space, the quality of our life suffers. This author respects our feelings, but lets us know how and why we can move through life's difficult situations and not allow them to consume us. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Anger    2. Conflict Resolution    3. General    4. Motivational & Inspirational    5. Psychology    6. Self-Help    7. Self-Help & Practical Interests    8. Self-Help / General   

Reviews (7)

Great first effort
This is the first book I have read about anger.I grew up with an angry mother and a rageful father so this is an issue that needs attention in my life.
Insightful, thought provoking
You'll be suprised by this thought provoking depiction of anger and how your life has been effected by your anger and the anger of the people in your life.I didn't think that my emotional wellness was so effected by anger.There is more to anger then active aggression, loud outburst, or fighting.Everyone experiences anger.You'll relate to the case studies more than you would like to think.

The Best Book on Anger out There
I've dealt with anger issues for years and have heard plenty of advice and couselling, but this is by far the most practical guide I've encountered.Les's writing style makes his concepts easy to understand, even though the concepts themselves are not simplistic.Les has distilled his 30 years of counseling experience into very useable advice on how to overcome the negative consequences of mishandled anger.While many other authors and counselors major primarily on the causes of anger, they mostly grow frustratingly silent on how to change the negative behavior that stems from anger.While Les doesn't offer a promise that you'll never be angry again if you apply his suggestions, his insights are very helpful in minimizing the harm to others and yourself when that inevitable angry moment comes.
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Subjects:  1. Anger    2. Anger Management    3. Emotions    4. Psychology    5. Religion & Beliefs    6. Self-Help / Anger Management   

Reviews (10)

Essential
Paul Ekman has become something of an academic celebrity due to the timeliness and value of his academic interest in the world of emotion and expression. Indeed, he has help improve the world by making people cognizant of the role emotion plays for all of us -- both negatively and positively.
One of the Best Books I've Read
I've read a number of self-help books with healing journeys and many step by step exercises but this one surprised me because it wasn't that sort of book yet it opened a door into seeing what I am feeling and, especially, what others are feeling. Many times since reading it, I've gained insight into what is really going on in conversations for the other person and for me. It's helped me to get along better with people, and to understand myself. Of course, this took effort on my part. It's not just read and improve. It's all about what you do with the information, what connections you see in life.
Grief, anger, fear, surpise, joy and disgust
Everyone has an understanding of emotion, but few people agree on what the word really means.For example, how is'emotion' differentiated from 'feeling'?Are emotion and logic independent? This book should help you explore these questions.
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Subjects:  1. Cognitive Psychology    2. Emotions    3. General    4. Interpersonal Relations    5. Psychology    6. Psychology & Psychiatry / Emotions   

Reviews (7)

sos for your emotions
This is an easy to read self help book for any age!

Easy, painless, humorous, effectivetools for contentment!
This is a fun, easy-to-use book! Humorously challenge your belief system (what you expect of yourself and others, whether reasonable or not) and the results will astound you. A great tool to find contentment in your life and your relationships.
Why I wrote SOS Help For Emotions
As a clinical psychologist I wrote "SOS Help For Emotions: Managing Anxiety, Anger, And Depression" to help people to increase their emotional intelligence and to more effectively manage their emotions and behavior.Emotional intelligence matters more than IQ in obtaining success and contentment in life.
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Subjects:  1. Anger    2. Depression    3. Emotions    4. Mood Disorders    5. Problems, exercises, etc    6. Psychology    7. Self-Help   

Reviews (14)

Lowering your expectations is good for the relationship
There is an underlying theme in this book that I think is important for every couple to consider: perhaps our expectations of our partners are too high.I've been a therapist for 25 years, and the most common problem I've encountered involves unexpressed-and often unconscious-expectations that one person has about the other. Women, I believe (and I think Dr. Lerner supports this as well), have higher expections than men. Sometimes they are so high, and so many, that there is no way not to be disappointed. What would happen if we lowered our expectations?We might, as Lerner suggests, become better listeners, and take more responsibility for fulfilling our own needs, rather than demanding that our happiness be met solely at home. Of all of Lerner's books, this is one I recommend most often to my clients.We don't need a soul-mate to be happily married, and if we lower the bar just a little, a "good enough" spouse can adequately provide the decades of richness we need.

Too much story telling
This book was recommended for me to read by my husband's personal therapist.He's in anger counseling, after coming back from Iraq, and I'm the one reading about six books right now.
Delivers---Ways of Staying Connected
*****
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Subjects:  1. Communication    2. Conflict Resolution    3. Emotions    4. General    5. Interpersonal Relations    6. Interpersonal communication    7. Intimacy (Psychology)    8. Psychology    9. Psychology & Psychiatry / General    10. Reading Group Guide   

Reviews (17)

Amazing tools to help you become emotionally strong
With all the self-help/self-understanding/relationship books I've read (including Mars and Venus), yours has been the most influential in my life. It has given me the tools I've needed most to be my own person and begin to repair the damage my emotional unavailability has caused for both myself and my (beautiful, wonderful, amazing) wife.

A revelation ... a must read.
This book was a revelation ... finally I understand why my husband behaves the way he does and why I respond to him the way I do ... and why we kept engaging in such a futile dance on a daily basis. In a sense, it's taken us both "off the hook".
very insightful
I love this book. It's the best book I've ever read on relationships. Two thumbs up! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Emotions    2. Family & Relationships    3. Family/Marriage    4. Interpersonal Relations    5. Love & Romance    6. Love / Sex / Marriage    7. Men    8. Psychology    9. Social Science / Men's Studies    10. Men's Studies    11. Social Science   

Reviews (5)

Very Useful Resource
This workbook provides comprehensive and practical information for one of the greatest issues in our society today.It includes an explanation of the costs of anger, undertanding your anger, and a myriad of techniques to effectively control your anger including relaxation skills, Cognitive Behavioral skills, problem solving and much more.this book is a great resource for clinicinas working with anegr in theoir careers as well as those who desire a resource to help them explore and handle the anger that resides within them.Highly recommended.

It didn't make me angry! :)
This is an excellent book, especially for the person who is NOT a batterer and is dealing with anger issues.In reality, putting the suggestions in place is harder than it reads in the book.However, there are a lot of suggestions, with repeated practice, that are totally workable.This is a different approach that I've read in other books.As a Substance Abuse Counseler, and personally, I found this book a great resource referrence.It is also easily read, therefore it will be understandable by almost anyone who reads it.

Excellent Resource!
As a therapist and a clinician on the local psychicatric crisis team, I found this workbook to be extremely useful. It is laid out in a very easy to understand format that anyone can understand. I particularly liked the way it began with the "emergency control" section at the begining - recognizing that someone who is buying this type of book is seriously having a problem! The forms are easily reproducable, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to read this book - it's common sense through and through - but it's not just "take a deep breath and count to ten". I loved it! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Anger    2. Emotions    3. General    4. Mood Disorders    5. Psychology    6. Self-Help    7. Coping with personal problems    8. Popular psychology   

Reviews (12)

The other reviewers must know the writer
this book needed more meat, it was not helpful

Hot Stuff is Hot Stuff
What a wonderful book. I read the reviews here before purchasing and my only reservation was with the "sarcastic" humor in the book. Actually, it is the humor that makes this book work. It was the bait that got my son hooked on the book.
I Wanted To Like This More, But....
This book was difficult to use with elementary age children, especially those who are K-4th grade. Some of the sarchastic humor and tongue-in-cheek humor was very tough for younger children and/or kids with lower intellectual functioning. When I tried to use this several times with kids; the concepts did not engage them and seemed to go above their heads. I would also like this book more if it was sectioned off in short activities and lessons.
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Subjects:  1. Anger    2. Children's 12-Up - Psychology / Counseling    3. Children's Books/Young Adult Social Situations    4. Conflict Resolution    5. Family & Relationships    6. Family/Marriage    7. Parenting - General    8. Psychology    9. Social Issues - Emotions & Feelings    10. Social Situations - Emotions & Feelings   

Features

• Box set

Subjects:  1. Emotions    2. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    3. Family Relationships    4. Non-Classifiable    5. Novelty    6. Marriage, family & other relationships   

Reviews (7)

A Volcano in My Tummy
It was not what I thought. I thought it was a book to read to kids, instead it is a WONDERFUL workbook with ideas, activities, etc. Definately for teachers but very useful even for this grandma!

so helpful
I am an Elementary School Counselor.I got this book to help me put together small groups for some of my students.The book is wonderful. It is full of great and effective ideas.I bought many resources in the past, and this is by far the best one to help children understand and work through anger.

Right Combination for Anger and Anxiety
I have been working this past year on all areas of helping my child and myself learn to manage anger,stress,anxiety and frustration.I am lucky to be working with a teacher that is willing to explore and take advice from authors like Elaine Whitehouse. This book takes the chaos out of anger. Adults and children learn how to recognize and deal with and express normal feelings of anger. This,coupled with the anxiety and anger management techniques from Lori Lite's "Children's Awareness Curriculum" and "Indigo Dreams" CD have been just the right combination for me and my child. The more we as a community are exposed to these books and concepts the quicker we will have a peaceful, communicative society able to resolve conflict before the volcano errupts. This should be a required class for all children and adults. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Anger    2. Education    3. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    4. Parenting - General    5. Child & developmental psychology    6. Child care & upbringing    7. Education / General    8. Popular psychology   

Reviews (10)

Well worth the effort
As a Life Coach serving exclusively Light Workers (http://www.anewleafcoaching.biz/),I rely on Lynn Grabhorn's books to bring to life the incredible power of attraction and feeling.We can and do manifest our intentions in this life; I see this daily in my coaching sessions with my clients.I offer courses and study groups on Lynn Grabhorn's books, "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting", ISBN: 1571743812, and the "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting Playbook", ISBN: 1571742700. Both books are excellent tools for going within, learning, and creating the abundant life of our dreams!I recommend either of these books to the Light Workers' it is my pleasure to coach.

I learned a lot
I went through every exercise in this book. Even if Grabhorn's metaphysical claims turn out not to be true (I somewhat believe she's on to something real). I learned a lot about how I perceive and think about the world. Most useful.

Better than most...
...books of this nature but a bit on the repetitive side. All in all a worthwhile read, Grabhorn distills a lot of wisdom from various traditions and schools of metaphysical thought and philosophy and makes them very accessible and appropriate for a very wide variety of folk. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Emotions    2. Miscellanea    3. Personal Growth - General    4. Personal Growth - Success    5. Psychology    6. Self-Help    7. Spiritual life    8. Mind, body, spirit: disciplines & techniques    9. Popular psychology   

Reviews (5)

Excellent!Fun to read and illuminating at once.
This hand sized paperback by Daniel Nettle has it all: wisdom, wit, useful information, philosophical discourse, groundbraking psychology and, good old common sense.The subject is happiness (of course) and, from the very beginning of the book, some myths and misconceptions are challenged and dispelled and, taking their place appear the well reasoned arguments and conclusions from the author.If you enjoy a brilliant mind at work this book is for you.

This book will make you smarter about happiness
Wow - it's wonderful to read a book based on research instead of opinions and hopes.Daniel Nettle combs through the newest findings on emotion to help us focus on workable, sane, and ultimately useful ways to approach happiness and unhapiness.
Fascinating
I hightly recommend this book. An easy, quick read that could change your life. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Cognitive Psychology    2. Emotions    3. Psychology    4. Cognition & cognitive psychology    5. Physiological & neuro-psychology    6. Popular medicine    7. Popular science    8. Psychology & Psychiatry / Emotions    9. Psychology | Health &