Reviews (10)

From a parent
I purchased this book for my wife as we have adopted a baby girl from China.While these photos are from a different orphanage, the impact is the same.We did not get to see all the children at our daughter's orphanage, and they don't allow photos of the kids anyway.I recommend this book for any adoptive parents of children from China, or those looking into it.I will warn you, you will want to go back for more.

Beautiful & Touching
Words can't describe this beautiful little book, filled with beautiful little girls. I especially love the list of their names at the back, as they translate into English, things like Literary Excellence & Radiant Jade. The children do seem sad or at least suspicious of the photographer, and why not? It's probably not every day that some Westerner visits to take pictures. But there is mischief & hope in these little girls' faces, & just affirms my ambition for half my life to adopt from China.

Mei Mei
A lovely, high quality edition of poignant portraits of Chinese children residing in orphanages.Ideal for the adoptive parent, the purchase of this book will also help young girls still living in China even if you cannot provide a home to one yourself.Do you remember the title "Honorable Mention" from grammar school?This deserves that merit and your attention. Some of the girls look sad today but they will be less so if you support the author's choice of foundation.See the book for details. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. Asia - China    3. China    4. Girls    5. Orphans    6. Photo Techniques    7. Photoessays & Documentaries    8. Photography    9. Photography Of Specific Subjects    10. Pictorial works    11. Subjects & Themes - Children    12. Subjects & Themes - Portraits    13. Subjects & Themes - Travel - World/Asia    14. Photographs: collections    15. Travel / Asia / China   

Reviews (30)

A GREAT Resource for Us Moms
Thank you, Joseph M. Soll and Karen Wilson Buterbaugh!Over 1.5 million of us surrendered babies for adoption in the 50s and 60s and 70s, and it now feels really good to know people are writing about how we can heal from that incredibly painful loss.This book is extremely well done, and Mr. Soll and Ms. Wilson Buterbaugh are to be commended for their courage in taking on this topic.Thanks for illuminating a path that, hopefully, will aid the healing process for many of us.
At Last....A Much-Needed Book!
Thank you to Joe Soll for writing this vital book about the birth mother experience. It may be the "aha" book for birth mothers as THE PRIMAL WOUND (by Nancy Verrier) is for adoptees. Birth mothers will find validation and know that they are not alone.

Adoption Healing... A Path to Recovery for Mothers Who Lost Children to Adoption
A wonderful, sensetive, educational, insightfuland healing book by Joe Soll and Karen Wilson Butterbaugh.A must read for Natural Mothers and Adoptees alike. It helps us to understand one another's losses and pain.There are millions of us who are searching, finding each other and wanting to heal from the trauma caused by Adoption Loss. Thank you Joe and Karen. I am a reunited Mom for over 12 years.
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Subjects:  1. Adoptees    2. Adoption    3. Birthmothers    4. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    5. Identification    6. Psychological aspects    7. Psychology    8. Self-Help   

Editorial Review

Proper attachment is the most fundamental issue in a successfuladoption, but what exactly does the term mean? Read more

Reviews (27)

A Must for parents adopting older children
This book is so valuable for adoptive parents, especially those who are adopting kids as toddlers or older.Bringing a new child into the family, particulary one with a traumatic past, is a huge adjument for all involved.This book helps enormously with the transition.It helps you to make sense of what is going on with your new child, and not take it so personally.

A must have book if adopting older children!
This book is one that you will go back to and refer to time and time again.A very real picture of what to expect as you adopt, especially if you are adopting older children.The author speaks from experience.You can tell the depth of love she has for the job she does with children. I would recommend this book for anyone who is considering adoption!
A Must Read for Every Adoptive Parent!
Thank you, Deborah, for translating your years of compassionate, clinical expertise into terms and tools that parents can use to facilitate intimate relationships with their children. I continue to hear many good reports from parents. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adopted children    2. Adoption    3. Attachment behavior in childre    4. Attachment behavior in children    5. Attachment disorder in childre    6. Attachment disorder in children    7. Family & Relationships    8. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    9. Family relationships    10. Family/Marriage    11. Parenting - General   

Reviews (12)

Asking the hard questions that need to be answered...
This book is most appropriate for families who are in the process of adopting internationally or transracially. The author superbly addresses the complex and controversial topics of race, culture, heritage, stereotypes, and racism that potential adoptive parents need to resolve prior to parenting a transracial child.
A Must Read!!!
As a "well intentioned" mother of three internationally adopted teenagers, this book honestly articulates difficult racial issues our children face. Our children do not automticaly inherit our white identity and associated privileges - and they know it!

A is for Adoption and Effort

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Subjects:  1. Adoptees    2. Adoption    3. Family & Relationships    4. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    5. Family/Marriage    6. Intercountry adoption    7. Parental Memoirs    8. Parenting - General   

Reviews (5)

Informative and compassionate
Keefer & Schooler have given us an excellentand substantive guide on numerous issues concerning adoption, notably how to tell children about adoption, how to handle adolescents' feelings. Unlike some other writers who think that children as young as 2-1/2 can understand and conceptualize the ideas of birth and adoption, Keefer and Schoolerrecognize that only by age eight do children have the ability to think in abstract terms and begin to understand the meaning of adoption. (In their book, Openness in Adoption, Exploring Family Connections, Harold D. Grotevant and Ruth G. McRoy found that only at the mean age of 10.5, age range 8.0-12.1, is the adoption relationship fully understood with its characterized permanency.)Schooler's description of the adoptee's various developmental stages is worded such that it appears all adoptees grieve, go through stages of anger and during adolescence experience an identity crisis. The adopted youths 'identity may fluctuate with their current fantasy of the birth family.' I am puzzled by our daughter who insists that she has never suffered an identity crisis. She has grown up with many adopted children, some of whom suffered such a crisis, others did not. Some studies of identity crises in adoptees and nonadoptees have shown no significant differences between the groups, so that 'adoptive status itself cannot produce a negative identity.' One study showed that nonsearchers had more positive self-concepts than searchers and overall self-esteem, identity, family self, physical self, self-satisfaction. These nonsearchers had less concern than searchers about their own background. Excellent!
This book is wonderful!It communicates well; gives sound advice about when and how to tell children about adoption.It gives advice on how to deal with children and adolescents' feelings surrounding adoption issues.Addresses domestic as well as international adoption issues. Etc.

Excellent and forthright
Excellent step by step instruction on how to tell kids difficult information about their birth parents. E.g., your birth mother was a drug addict. Also shows how to present this information for kids of different ages: what you say to a 5 year old, a 10 year old, a 15 year old. I have read just about every book on adoption/fostering and this is one of the best. Since reading it I have known how to answer my son's questions and have felt much more comfortable discussing his birth parents with him. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adopted children    2. Adoption    3. Adoption And Adoption Services    4. Family & Relationships    5. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    6. Foster children    7. Human Services    8. Parenting - General    9. Psychological aspects    10. Psychology    11. United States    12. Child care & upbringing    13. Child welfare    14. Family & Relationships / General   

Reviews (1)

Great guide to body language in dating
The name of the book is somewhat misleading: it should be called "Body Language 101" or "Body Language Literacy Course".
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Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. Body language    3. Dating (Social customs)    4. Family & Relationships    5. Family/Marriage    6. Interpersonal Relations    7. Interpersonal attraction    8. Love & Romance    9. Love / Sex / Marriage    10. Family & Relationships / Sexuality   

Reviews (22)

ABSOLUTEMUSTREADIF ANADOPTEE
SHERRIE, THANK YOU FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL BOOK, Twenty Life Tansforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make. I cannot express enough my gratitude to you.
20 life transforming choices adoptees need to make
I am an adoptee searching for my birth family and an adoptive mother of a 5 year old.Sherrie's book went right to my heart and soul.She is making me life outside my box and get involved in adoption issues.I am writing a article for the agency I used to adopt my child, volunteering for camp, and getting the adoption issue message out thanks to Sherrie's Book.Can't wait to get her other book and read it.Keep writing to all who are touched by adoption, which I believe is a huge percentage of our population.Our children are our greatest resourse and the future.And to the reviewers who are offended by the religious messages, get a life.God Created us all with a divine plan in mind and this is part of growing and living with adoption.Thanks Serrie and keep writing for us all.We need any and all things related to adoption for our families.Bobbi Humphreys Herrick Arvada, CO USA

I felt I was reading my own experiences
On reading Sherrie Eldridges book I was amazed at seeing what could have been my own words staring back at me. Sherries book made me realize that i am not alone in my thoughts and feelings on adoption, and that the process we go through to come to terms with our own stories and situations is indeed normal.
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Subjects:  1. Adoptees    2. Adoption    3. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    4. General    5. Personal Growth - General    6. Psychological aspects    7. Psychology    8. Self-Help   

Reviews (28)

This is really awsome book
Dr. Berman has some tranfsormation information for your sex life. If you are really willing to try this out, it is quite a valuable experience.At the end of this book your life will be changed. If you follow the program you will fell terrific.
A solution that works.
This book surprised me.I got it for Valentine's Day from my boyfriend and we did all the homework.It really worked.He only had to read one page per chapter so he could stick wth.The Doctor knows her stuff!

Reconnecting with desire
I've found this book really useful for getting back in touch with my desires and becoming more connected with my husband. Our marriage has had its ups and downs, which they all do. I believe that making your relationship work takes work. This book can help you get there.
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Subjects:  1. Love / Sex / Marriage    2. Self-Help    3. Sex    4. Sex Education    5. Sex Therapy    6. Sex instruction    7. Sexual Instruction    8. Women's Health - General   

Reviews (14)

When I Met You:A Story of Russian Adoption
This is a sweet book, accurate story and beautiful pictures.Because of its price, its more of a save on a high shelf/grownup book than a child friendly one.

Like "Crazy Cakes" for Russian kids
Before this book came out the book that best captured the emotions of adopting our daughter was "I Love You Like Crazy Cakes". It's a beautiful book, but it's about adopting a child from China - not from Russia. Finally, we have our own book about Russian adoption that sums up the love I feel for my daughter in language simple enough for her to understand.
Beautiful
My children love the beautiful illustrations and the touching story. The story is a wonderful tool for talking about the topic of adoption on a level that is appropriate for young children.I would recommend this book for any family that has adopted or for families who have friends who have adopted. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. Family & Relationships    3. Family/Marriage    4. Intercountry adoption    5. Russia (Federation)    6. United States   

Reviews (12)

A good Baby Book for Adoptions
I was placed with my son when he was 22 months old.While this book is geared more toward infant adoption (wanting a lot of firsts as a baby book does) I am using it for his firsts with us.I have also asked his prior placement if they can fill in the information I don't have.It has pages for a naming Ceremony (I just wrote about them name we chose and why) My favorite pages are the ones where youput pictures of "Others who love you"I would recommend this book to any adoptive mom/dad and you can alter as you need it.

Not what I'd hoped for...
This book, while obviously well-intentioned, leaves too much unsaid in the life of a child who joins a family through adoption, in my opinion. There's no space for including the child's biological roots or specifics about their birth family, but only a vague "other people who love you" page, for example.
Missing Critical Pieces for Adoptees
I have struggled over posting this review---so here goes. 50 year ago my parents gave me a baby adoption book called" The Chosen Child". It was sweet but never talked about having a birth family.
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Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. Blank Books / Diaries / Memory Books    3. Family & Relationships    4. Family/Marriage    5. General    6. Life Stages - Infants & Toddlers/Infants    7. Parenting - General    8. Family & Relationships / Parenting   

Reviews (8)

What is best for the person separated from family?
I know people who have raised a grandchild and pretended to be the mother, rather than grandmother - which caused the adopted person intense grief and anger later on.
Indispensable help for anyone adopting an older child...
I almost did not buy this book after reading a review that it was "too clinical."Thank heaven I went for it anyway.It was SO interesting and SO helpful, it has inspired me to write my first book review here on Amazon.I have read every book I can get my hands on since I adopted a 4-year-old from another country and this was by far the most useful to me.While it also covers adoption of infants and domestic adoption, Van Gulden delves deeply into adoption of older (more than a year old), international/interracial children and the issues they face.I especially like how - after each chapter - she gives a list of other resources/books to consult for more information. There are great suggestions of children's books that will help you approach most any difficult topic that can - and will - come up with your new child.I am back here shopping for more copies tonight - get a copy for grandma/grandpa and anyone else close to you who may need a little education on the unique intricacies of adopting an older child from another culture or race.I am so grateful to have found this book and highly recommend it.Adoption is one of life's richest blessings - and most worthy challenges.This book will help you appreciate and cope and know that you are not alone.

Too Clinical
I ordered this book & returned it after glancing through it.It seems too clinical & dry.It seemed like reading a college child development book.I'm sure there's lots of good information in there, but I want something that is easier to apply to my life.I also ordered "Keys to Parenting an Adopted Child" by Kathy Lancaster, and that seems like a better book to start with for me.Obviously, other people have enjoyed this book though - but it wasn't for me at this point in time (we're in the process of adopting an infant from Russia & don't have kids yet). ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    3. Parenting - General    4. Child care & upbringing    5. Child welfare    6. Family & Relationships / Adoption    7. Family & Relationships / General   

Reviews (6)

As an adoptive parent...
If you only buy one book for your child about their birth culture - this is it (my advice goes for the When You Were Born in China and Korea books as well). Why? The stories we will tell our children, even their life books will be told with some emotion and our memory behind them. Though life books are tailored to their specific start in life and are meant to be purely informational for our children (as opposed to emotion based), the reality is that it is hard to keep from editorializing it and acting as the "color commentator." This book does what we can't do and does it in a broad fashion. When we were on the journey to our oldest child in China my husband gave me the When You Were Born in China book and of all the books I'd bought or received during our wait, that was the one that was never far from my mind because it told the story of our journey. I love this book because it brings to life for our children the story of how they forever became part of our family.
Faces of Adoption
I totally recommend this book!The pictures are lovely, and the text is excellent (best for ages 6 and up, although can be para-phrased for those younger).The pictures put clear images into my mind's eye, images that had been absent prior to reading this book.Further, seeing the orphanges and the caretakers, not to mention the beautiful children, have allowed me to visualize more clearly where my daughter will soon come from. Good, but too complicated for small children
This is a very good book and I recommend it for anyone adopting from Vietnam.We will be adopting our baby in a few months and it reflects everything we have learned about our process so far.Also, if for no other reason, buy this book for the beautiful photographs.Read more

Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. Family & Relationships    3. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    4. Family/Marriage   

Reviews (10)

Must Have book on Adoption
My husband and I are in the process of adopting an older child from the ages of 3-8. We went through our adoption classes and received alot of great information we will need but I was also reading this book at the same time. I was able to ask questions to our instructor that I would never have thought of without the book. I loved the way the author put in characters of the adoptive child awaiting adoption, Parents waiting to adopt, The case workers point of view, and all the emotions they were going through. I told our instructor about this book and she said she would let other adoptive parents know about it. This book was so informative and fun to read that I found myself not wanting to put it down.
Surprisingly Current Almost 30 Years Later
As we move forward in the adoption process of a 17 yr. old, I am thrilled to have just read this book.It was an easy read, full of insight, with just the right balance of warmth and challenge.Best of all, as both a professional counselor and adoptive mother (seven times over!) the author is truly credible, including a nice mix of research and personal experience.I give this book my highest recommendation.

Excellent and Informative.
This book dicusses the adoption of older children. Through a series of stories told in the viewpoint of the adoptive parents, adoptive children, and their social worker, readers gain insight into what they can expect during the process. This book put to ease some of my fars about adopting an older child, and makes me feel more equipped to handle situations when our time to adopt comes. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. Case studies    3. Child Care/Parenting    4. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    5. Older child adoption    6. Public Policy - Social Services & Welfare    7. United States    8. Child care & upbringing    9. Family & Relationships / Adoption    10. Marriage, family & other relationships   

Reviews (11)

A fantastic book
Thank you to the authors for writing this book. As my husband and I begin the adoption process, this book has been the one I've opened every time I have a question, and it hasn't let me down. I highly recommend it.

Full of Knowledge
My fiance and I have decided to pursue a domestic adoption.I purchased this book in order to educate us on the topic of adoption.We started out knowing nothing and now we feel very informed and much more prepared as we embark on the journey of adoption.A must read!

A must-have book for any prospective adoptive parent
This was the very first book we bought when we began the adoption process, and it is great!There is so much helpful information in the book, yet it is presented in an easy-to-read format.The book is extremely helpful during any stage of the adoption process: from just thinking about adoption to actually bringing the baby home.Definitely a book that all adoptive parents should have! ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. Adoption And Adoption Services    3. Family & Relationships    4. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    5. Family/Marriage    6. Parent And Child    7. Parenting - General    8. United States   

Reviews (2)

Encouraging Read for anyone involved in the Adoption Process
This book truly provides encouragement to those who find their lives touched by adoption or who are deciding whether to take that step in their lives. The only flaw, from my perspective, would be that the stories heavily focused on adoptions through a lawyer and not through an agency. That said, I appreciated that the stories were varied in their perspective - some were from the adoptive family, the birth family, the social worker, adoptee. In addition, there were a variety of different reasons and situations for seeking adoption. Finally the stories involved adoptions that were domestic and international, as well as of varying ages. The biggest blessing was, however, the encouragement it gave. There are not many people who can truly understand the feelings adoption brings out except for those who have experienced it. That being said, those who have experienced it are able to encourage others in their waiting on God like no one else can. If you need encouragement in the waiting, help in discerning whether adoption is for you, or just want to understand the emotions of this amazing process, this book is for you.

Beautiful Stories!
Beautiful stories about God's hand in adoptions!!Very encouraging to read while you're in the adoption process.:) ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. Bible - General    3. Bibles    4. Case studies    5. Christianity    6. Christianity - Christian Life - Family Relationships    7. Inspirational    8. Inspirational - General    9. Religion    10. Religious aspects    11. Religion / Inspirational   

Reviews (12)

a must read for any parent adopting abroad or choosing to become a multi-racial family
At the start of our international adoption process I ordered any, and every, book I could find on the subject.When I received "Are Those Kids Yours?: American Families With Children Adopted From Other Countries", I could not put it down.
A wonderful read for the most part
Most of what Cheri Register has to say was very informative and helpful. I bought this book wanting to either reaffirm our decision to adopt internationally or for it to bring new realities to light and scare us away from it. I am happy to report that we are still planning on going through with international adoption.
Grappling with the big issues
This book is an introduction to some of the major issues involved in foreign adoptions.It is written for perspective adoptive parents, their family members and friends.Register takes up each of the major issues in turn, and she has based the book both on her own experience as a mother of two girls adopted from Korea, and on anecdotal interviews with adopted children of various ages and their other family members.She starts the bookwith the motivations for foreign adoption, from the plight of the abandoned or relinquished children, to the parents whose reasons for adoption may range from altruism to pure selfishness.She goes on to describe how the children may be matched with parents, and then the pivotal event in the families' lives, the moment when the child joins the family.Next comes a discussion of how new family ties are constructed, then methods that various parents have used to inform the child about the adoption experience.As the child grows older, major identity questions come to the fore, and children may choose to seek out their biological parents and homeland.The book closes with a chapter on the global family, in which Register stresses that foreign adoptions should only be seen as temporary measures, while the real goal should be to ensure that every child is able to grow up in his or her homeland with a loving family, enough to eat, and meaningful educational opportunities.At the end of the book is a list of recommended readings for further information, as well as a list of child welfare, advocacy, and adoption organizations.Read more

Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. Adoption And Adoption Services    3. Case studies    4. Child Care/Parenting    5. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    6. Intercountry adoption    7. Interracial adoption    8. Parenting - Child Rearing    9. Psychological aspects    10. United States    11. Child welfare    12. Family & Relationships / Child Care   

Reviews (19)

Excellent book
This is an excellent book for parents who are considering adoption or who are waiting for their referral.This book does a great job of preparing parents for some of the possible issues they may face, without scaring you out of the idea of adoption!!I felt much better prepared for my daughter after reading this book.

Very realistic; Well worth the time to read.
We've had our son in a pre-adoptive placement for 8 months. We read this book before (and checked it often) after he came home to us. I beleive the auther gave very realistic expectations for the grief/bonding process experienced by children who are adopted as toddlers.
Must read...
We read this book before we adopted a 26 month old who had been institutionalized for 2 years in a Soviet orphanage. Packed the book when we went on the trip and were very glad that we did. A lot of the issues were very relevant and rereading sections helped immensely.
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Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. Family / Parenting / Childbirth    3. Family/Marriage    4. Life Stages - Infants & Toddlers/Toddlers   

Reviews (1)

Groundbreaking
This collection will break your heart and then mend it again. The contributors are brilliant, unflinching, angry, proud, grieving, recording, resisting, transforming, and organizing. There hasn't been a book like this in the history of adoption, let alone transracial adoption, but hopefully there will be many more like it in the future. ... Read more

Subjects:  1. Adoption    2. History - General History    3. History - U.S.    4. Interracial adoption    5. Multicultural Education    6. Social Science    7. Sociology    8. Sociology - General    9. United States - 20th Century    10. Women's Studies - General    11. History / United States / 20th Century   

Reviews (5)

Not A Must Read For Every Adoptive Parent
Many of the situations and examples in this book are so different from our adoption scenario that I had to really dig in to find a few pieces that spoke to me.
Unexpected and excellent!!
This was a surprisingly wonderful book! After so many pregnancy losses, I was not really interested in how we may be faced with a different type of depression as my heart was ready to focus on the life that would be joining our family instead of the death we have experienced.Needless to say, there was a large part of me that was hesitant in buying this book.Only, I kept coming back to it and I am so glad that I did.This is NOT the "doom and gloom" book that I assumed it would be! It discusses not only the expectations we have regarding adoption in general due to our own feelings, or those laid upon us but also the expectations we have of ourselves as parents, our family/friends, community, and agency.
A Well-Researched Tool For Couples Considering Adoption
The mission of The Post-Adoption Blues is to examine the challenges of adoption, and to alleviate feelings often experienced during and after the adoption process. More specifically, the authors' state the following as their goals: